Whiteness

I was once told my skin color is a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10: 1 being Albino, 10 being an olive-toned caucasian. Obviously this was from a fellow market researcher, hence the numbered scale, and no there wasn’t bias since said person didn’t know I could hear him :)

I’ve lived with white skin all my life that no amount of sun will change (unless it means to red). Trust me people, I just don’t get tan. No, seriously. Trust me. And yes, I know it. Thankfully the comments of “wow, you’re white” subsided in childhood. Apparently adults don’t feel the need to point out the obvious. Adults know that a) I have looked in the mirror once or twice in my life, b) I have looked at the color of my arms before even without a mirror once or twice in my life and c) I’m not colorblind and even if I was I would still be able to tell that I am white, so I don’t need a reminder of the degree of my paleness.

Anyway, the good news about all this is that I went to a pool party the other Saturday and of the caucasians in the group, I was average! That’s right folks, I’m normal here and I didn’t need a slathering of fake tan to feel comfortable wearing shorts.

While I might sound bitter or overly focused on the color of my skin, I’m really not. I’ve accepted it and while I may venture to do the mystic fake tan booth once in a blue moon, I’m saving myself the hassle of fake-tan-stained sheets and possible orange tinted skin while I’m here in London, home of the English Rose. Furthermore, I find comfort that in the 1200s in China, I would be deemed as Nobility for my shade of skin.

I’ve always thought China in the 1200s would suit me well. Especially if "fatter" was in back then. Ugh. Why was I born in 1984? Maybe because I couldn't live without modern appliances like toilets...

Anne Hathaway in Bride Wars with the bad fake tan blues.

4th of July London Style

I'm pretty proud. Not just of America (I love you!), but also of my sign of mockery I had the guts to make and take pictures with at Buckingham Palace.

Poster board = 3 pounds; Markers = 5 pounds, Making the sign = 1 hr. Amazing photo op on the 4th = priceless.

Side 1:

Side 2:

Also, on another note, I've finally gotten around to downloading some of my pics. With the amazingly hot weather here (which becomes oppressive/unbearable heat in the tubes), I've had a chance to roam around the city every day after work this past week. The parks are crowded, there was a free opera broadcast in Trafalgar Square. Needless to say, I'm enjoying the long days with great weather. If only there was air-conditioning (coming to tubes summer 2010!)

Tower Bridge (NOT London Bridge)

Oxford Circus all lit up at night:

St Paul's:

Door the salon where the Queen herself has her hair done. Just kidding...this is just a very red door.

The Houses of Parliament after a really beautiful sunset. Unfortunately, this pic doesn't do it justice. Sorry, I just don't have the skills yet. I do have other skills, like bow-hunting skills, computer hacking skills...

Southbank

London Eye

Hyde Park

Fashion Tips

London as one of the leading fashion capitals in the world has opened my eyes to the trends of the future. Thank goodness for my iphone so I was easily able to capture these cutting edge fashions.


The Mullet. Yes, it's been resurrected. The business in the front, party in the back is now a preferred hairstyle for women. Takes half as long to do when your getting ready in the morning too, since only half of your hair needs any styling! Truly, a classic and manageable style for all.




While women are going short, men are going long. When sporting the "girl in 3rd grade circa 1990" look, be sure to top it off with a thin headband. Also, hair of this length must be kept in healthy condition, and have a lovely softness to it; never be outdone by a woman! Our model makes sure to draw attention to his style, by twirling said hair around his fingers and stroking it often.






The Velvet Cape. Provides a sense of mystery and intrigue, especially when you wrap it around yourself like your in a cocoon. While not all may be able to handle this fashion on the 120 degree tube trains, our brave model makes the sacrifice for style. Topping the look off with a be-jeweled NY Yankees hat (not pictured) is optional.

They're Magically Delicious

Yes, it's true. Chatting with a few people from Ireland, I found out on Sunday that Lucky Charms are not sold in Ireland. Shocking, and yet saddening at the same time.

Why don't they enjoy this sugary goodness you ask? Here's how the conversation went:

Irish person #1: "Yea, we don't have Lucky Charms in Ireland. They introduced it a few years ago, but it never caught on."

Irish person #2: "I remember that. No one got them because it was just pure sugar."

Me, thinking: "And pure sugar cereal is bad because...."

Irish person #3: "Right, I mean, who wants marshmallows in their cereal."

Me, thinking: "Uh, because that's the best part! I eat all those other things first so I can end on a high point of marshmallow goodness in my bowl."

I listened to this, then proudly admitted that Lucky Charms is my favorite cereal. I've been dedicated to it since day 1. I remember when all the different shapes were introduced: the horseshoe, the rainbow, the balloon, the pot of gold, the four leaf clover hat, the shooting star (for a complete history, read this.)

Oh you silly Irish. When will you see the light???

Lessons on Being Cool

More tips and tricks I've learned in life, especially in London. Since I'm such a cool person, here's a list of ways to keep your "I'm cool" image, or at least salvage what you can when faced with very non-cool situations:

1. If you trip on the stairs, or sidewalk, just start running. Hopefully you can turn the corner and then slow down, but if not just keep going.


2. If you're lost and realize your headed the wrong way, don't just stop and make an immediate 180. You have two options: (a) Feign a phone call, stop walking and create a one-way conversation like this: "Oh hey....oh you're at THAT pub...yea, sounds good....no I'm close by, I just passed it, I'll meet you there..." NOTE: make sure you switch your ringer to silent. Don't want it ringing when your already "on a call." (b) Find some steps near by, or a bench if possible. Look confidence, as in yes, I was striding along the street to purposefully stop right at this spot. Just sit there until all familiar fellow pedestrians have left and leave the direction you came.


3. When eating alone, check your watch or your phone frequently. No need to actually speed up your dinner for one at McDonalds on a Saturday night, but as long as people think you have somewhere to be or people to meet up with, you'll look cool.


4. If you ever do legitimately need to run to catch a bus or train, fake a slight coughing fit so you have a legitimate excuse to catch your breath. No...you're not out of shape, you're just coming down with a slight cold.


5. When someone asks you for directions on the street, look confident and speak decidedly. They'll never see you again, so if the number 8 bus isn't the right one, you'll never know and you'll still have the satisfaction of helping someone. Plus people around you will think you're nice local.


6. When you get distracted and miss your tube stop and need to back track, walk slowly along the platform until your previous train has passed so no one sees you just walking to the other side of the platform.


7. Wearing iPod headphones at almost all times is key, especially while on public transportation. But, be sure you have easy access to the volume control: you don't want to be caught in sudden silence on the train when there's a signal failure and have "Mmmm Bop" blasting loud enough for others to hear.


8. Resist the urge to laugh at men who fall asleep and snore on the tube. If you do not, you will get a case of the giggles, which is like laughing during church or a funeral: it's not funny which is exactly why you can't stop laughing aaand everyone will look at you as a curiously odd person.

I'm Living at a Summer Camp

Top 11 Reasons Why I'm Living at a Summer Camp:

1. It's cold in my house. Very cold (except when it's hot outside, then it's hot in my house). Even my fellow renters who've lived here for years are walking around with their winter parkas on when it's in the upper 40s outside, so I'm not just some wuss from California. I can't wait for the winter time when it gets even colder.
2. I hand wash all my dishes because there is no dishwasher.
3. Windows are constantly open, which is probably part of the cause for item 1. One roommate likes fresh air, but bundles up herself. Hummm... Anyway, this has resulted in: a GIANT spider and a GIANT moth in the bathroom. The spider I got the guts to throw out the window with a piece of paper [shudder]. I couldn't sleep leaving it be, just in case it dropped on my head from the ceiling the next morning while I was in the shower [shudder]. The moth prevented me from using the toilet last night before bed. I wasn't about to be trapped in a small room with a locked door in such a vulnerable position with that beast flying around my head...
4. The toilet seat is very, very cold (see item 3) and gives me goosebumps when I need to use it. Sorry for the detail, but it needed to be said.
5. My shower is tiny, and uses a portable water heater, kind of like the ones you stick a quarter in every 5 minutes for hot water.
6. I hang my clothes to dry, which means they're always damp, cold and stiff when they're clean. I'm beginning to think that washing clothes is optional.
7. Most of the lighting consists of old florescent bulbs; you can hear them slightly buzzing when they're on.
8. Every sink has two faucets: one for hot and one for cold. The hot one usually burns you after about 10 seconds, so I often wash my hands/face with cold water.
9. I still feel like I'm living out of a suitcase: every attempt to "move in" or "clean my room" really just means reshuffling my two boxes of things, or reorganizing my pile of clothes that have no place to go.
10. My mattress is oooold. While it's better than a 2" piece of foam like when you're out in the woods, I can feel the springs. For those of you who have followed my blog, you know I have an obsession for comfortable bedding.
11. There is a mouse in the kitchen. Seriously. It's not that scared of people either. Seriously.

Reason #11 evidenced itself tonight. [Shudder]

PS: I know this may sound like I'm complaining, and I sort of am, but there are still plenty of good things about being here in London. I'll save that for another post :)

The Process for Procuring Any Goods in the UK

MEMO

To: anyone thinking of moving to the UK

Cc: Anyone thinking of visiting the UK

Re: Step-by-step Procurement Instructions and Timeline

Note: Click on the picture to englarge

PS I know I'm a nerd. I love lists, graphs, flow charts etc