I follow instructions

Well, if you look closely, you can see it's suitable for spooning.

Passive Aggressive?

Do you ever wonder if this is what people are really thinking when they say stuff? I have. Here's my thoughts on people's real thoughts sometimes.

What they say: "Don't worry. Everything will work out."
What they're thinking: "Man I'm glad I'm not in her shoes right now."

What they say: "Just do your best and you'll be fine."
What they're thinking: "Only a real idiot could screw this up."

What a they says: "This might hurt just a little."
What they're thinking: "[Evil cackle]"

What they say: "Oh really? Tell me more!"
What they're thinking: "This idiot can't read body language. I'm bored out of my mind."

What they say: "That color looks great on you!"
What they're thinking: "I hope I make this sale; I'll hit my commission goal."

What they say: "There are several closures on the underground this weekend."
What they're thinking: "Good luck chumps on getting anywhere you want to go on Saturday or Sunday."

Bad Movie + Comedians = Awesome Night

I think I've found my new calling in life. Be a comedian for the Bad Movie Club here in London where people join to watch a ridiculously outdated, corny, and terrible movie and mock it the whole time.

Like the movie "Meteor" from 1979. Sean Connery, I didn't know you could be in such a bad movie.

Needless to say, it was a good time by all.

World Record Breaking City

It's Geneva, Switzerland folks. It breaks some records.

I went there with my partner in crime, Monica Hubrich the weekend of December 4-5, 2009. Here are all the records we saw. (Warning: TONS of pictures to follow. We saw too much!)

World's Most Inspiring Museum: Red-Cross Museum


Largest Collection of World Flags: UN Headquarters


World's Biggest Chair--I'm sitting against the left leg


World's Longest Second Hand (True!!!)


World's Funnest Fun-Run (Hundreds of folks, all dressed up in clever costumes. This guy was Pack Man and was surrounded by Ghosts)


World's Cutest Kid Dancing to a Street Band


World's Neatest In-Park Art Display. This picture doesn't do it justice, but these glowing colored spheres were very beautiful.


World's Coolest Mirror; this gem was a giant cube with mirrored panels around the outside


World's Most Dangerous Electric Fence


World's Quirkiest Swiss Waiter. Unfortunately, this restaurant is where I discovered I don't enjoy cheese fondue :(


World's Most Expensive Hot Chocolate (the exchange rate with 1:1, so this little cup cost us over $5)


World's Longest Bench (really!)


World's Quaintest Fountain and Christmas Tree in a City that Starts with "G" and Ends with "eva"




World's Coolest Tourists


Reenactment of World's Crappiest Street Bands. We were there the weekend of a series of races in the city, and there were tons of folks running, spectators cheering along, and several crappy bands that were part of the festivities. We timed our visit just right! Sorry I can't figure out how to rotate this sucker.

Posh Restaurant

There's some special going on where really posh restaurants in the city are opening their doors to us cheaper folks. If you book ahead, you can get a limited menu for a pretty reasonable fare considering where you're eating (it's still the price of about 5 McDonald's meals...)

Anyway, a group of us went to Quaglino's: http://www.quaglinos.co.uk

Even though I'm not a big seafood fan, I ordered the fish pie. Yea, not really sure why I did that. I think I was just too nervous to try the liver.

The night was a smashing success, topped off with a transvestite magician who stopped by our table and did some really neat tricks. Yep, you read that right. Transvestite magician at a posh restaurant. I didn't expect it either.

"It gives new meaning...

to 'commercial airline.'"-Monica Hubrich regarding Ryan Air (a leading low cost airline here in Europe). She is so right and here's why:

1. Instead of trays of free snacks and/or drinks, the flight attendants roam up and down, up and down, up and down throughout the flight touting their duty free merchandise. If you do want a drink, a can of soda will cost you about $5.
2. The in-flight entertainment isn't a movie or TV show, it is the announcements made in broken-English over the speaker system about their special today: smokeless cigarettes that are for purchase on the flight. "Your friends and people will like you because these don't smell like smoke and you will be happy..."

As a side note, here's how the airline stays so cheap:

• They charge you sometimes hefty "taxes and fees" hidden in the original ticket price.


• They fly to airports waaaay out from the cities you want to be in--the cost of getting to/from respective airports is typically equal to or more than the price of the flight.


• They charge you to check any baggage: you get ONE and I mean ONE carry-on for free.


• I'm 99% sure they use the remaining cargo area to ship mail or business cargo.


• They charge you to check in at the airport: if you don't print your boarding pass from home you'll pay another 15 pounds or so for them to print one for you at the airport.


• There's a really steep charge if you want to be in "priority boarding" to fight for the optimal exit-row seats.


• The seats don't recline, and there are no magazine holders so I'm sure they've fit an extra row of seats somehow on the plane.


• They saved a lot of dough by hiring a color-blind graphics designer to choose their color scheme of highlighter yellow and blue which glares at you in places all over the plane.

Where some airplanes might have a personal TV, or even a tray table, Ryan Air has their emergency information glued. Nothing like a constant reminder of the possibility of a crash during a flight:

*Note: In the lower left hand corner, they tell you to take off your glasses and take out your dentures for an emergency landing. Yes folks, you may not know this, but dentures are a serious safety hazard. Oh, and good luck to those with glasses trying to find their way out of the plane after a crash landing.

Photogenic

Watch out ANTM (America's Next Top Model) prospective contestants because after the recruiters see this collage of face shots, your chances of beating me in the next season are OVER.

Ok, maybe not. So maybe this post is dedicated to the fact that I think I'm completely unphotogenic. There's the random shot where I'm like, yeah, I like alright. For the most part, I loathe having my picture taken.

My solution: always make a stupid face when someone takes a picture of you.

I realized this might be a bit of a problem since I was asked by a co-worker a couple weeks ago to give her a head shot for my bio in a proposal. Hum. An appropriate head shot for a business context. Is it weird that it took me quite a while to find one, and even then it was a picture that was 5 years old?

Whatever. At least I've got one. But for those of you who also hate pictures, below is a collage of inspirational poses so you can purposely look like an idiot (instead of trying to look nice and hating the result).

Face shot examples:

Inspiration behind each shot:

If you have more ideas, please add them in the comments! I can already tell I'm missing the quizzical brow scrunch with puckered lip look and the lower-lip-bite-nose-scrunch-hard-core-rocker face.