I don't talk to people when I'm walking up stairs

...and this is why.


It's been established, by a reputable source (me), that my shortness of breath increases at a higher rate then the average person. Thus, leading to my hitting the "embarrassment" threshold much faster than the average person. For the visual learners, here's a graph to show you what I mean:

Unfortunately this leads to awkwardness. There are a lot of stairs here in London. I thought I was done with the fake-coughing or ask-the-other-person-a-question-so-you-don't-have-to-talk stage when I left Brigham Young University and it's campus that is on a hill (dear Tanner building...you with all your stairs). Ah, those were the days: trying to flirt with that cute guy from Bio on your walk to class whilst stifling your huffing and puffing.

PS Yes, I did say whilst. It sounds so proper.

Whiteness

I was once told my skin color is a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10: 1 being Albino, 10 being an olive-toned caucasian. Obviously this was from a fellow market researcher, hence the numbered scale, and no there wasn’t bias since said person didn’t know I could hear him :)

I’ve lived with white skin all my life that no amount of sun will change (unless it means to red). Trust me people, I just don’t get tan. No, seriously. Trust me. And yes, I know it. Thankfully the comments of “wow, you’re white” subsided in childhood. Apparently adults don’t feel the need to point out the obvious. Adults know that a) I have looked in the mirror once or twice in my life, b) I have looked at the color of my arms before even without a mirror once or twice in my life and c) I’m not colorblind and even if I was I would still be able to tell that I am white, so I don’t need a reminder of the degree of my paleness.

Anyway, the good news about all this is that I went to a pool party the other Saturday and of the caucasians in the group, I was average! That’s right folks, I’m normal here and I didn’t need a slathering of fake tan to feel comfortable wearing shorts.

While I might sound bitter or overly focused on the color of my skin, I’m really not. I’ve accepted it and while I may venture to do the mystic fake tan booth once in a blue moon, I’m saving myself the hassle of fake-tan-stained sheets and possible orange tinted skin while I’m here in London, home of the English Rose. Furthermore, I find comfort that in the 1200s in China, I would be deemed as Nobility for my shade of skin.

I’ve always thought China in the 1200s would suit me well. Especially if "fatter" was in back then. Ugh. Why was I born in 1984? Maybe because I couldn't live without modern appliances like toilets...

Anne Hathaway in Bride Wars with the bad fake tan blues.

4th of July London Style

I'm pretty proud. Not just of America (I love you!), but also of my sign of mockery I had the guts to make and take pictures with at Buckingham Palace.

Poster board = 3 pounds; Markers = 5 pounds, Making the sign = 1 hr. Amazing photo op on the 4th = priceless.

Side 1:

Side 2:

Also, on another note, I've finally gotten around to downloading some of my pics. With the amazingly hot weather here (which becomes oppressive/unbearable heat in the tubes), I've had a chance to roam around the city every day after work this past week. The parks are crowded, there was a free opera broadcast in Trafalgar Square. Needless to say, I'm enjoying the long days with great weather. If only there was air-conditioning (coming to tubes summer 2010!)

Tower Bridge (NOT London Bridge)

Oxford Circus all lit up at night:

St Paul's:

Door the salon where the Queen herself has her hair done. Just kidding...this is just a very red door.

The Houses of Parliament after a really beautiful sunset. Unfortunately, this pic doesn't do it justice. Sorry, I just don't have the skills yet. I do have other skills, like bow-hunting skills, computer hacking skills...

Southbank

London Eye

Hyde Park

Fashion Tips

London as one of the leading fashion capitals in the world has opened my eyes to the trends of the future. Thank goodness for my iphone so I was easily able to capture these cutting edge fashions.


The Mullet. Yes, it's been resurrected. The business in the front, party in the back is now a preferred hairstyle for women. Takes half as long to do when your getting ready in the morning too, since only half of your hair needs any styling! Truly, a classic and manageable style for all.




While women are going short, men are going long. When sporting the "girl in 3rd grade circa 1990" look, be sure to top it off with a thin headband. Also, hair of this length must be kept in healthy condition, and have a lovely softness to it; never be outdone by a woman! Our model makes sure to draw attention to his style, by twirling said hair around his fingers and stroking it often.






The Velvet Cape. Provides a sense of mystery and intrigue, especially when you wrap it around yourself like your in a cocoon. While not all may be able to handle this fashion on the 120 degree tube trains, our brave model makes the sacrifice for style. Topping the look off with a be-jeweled NY Yankees hat (not pictured) is optional.