Lessons on Being Cool

More tips and tricks I've learned in life, especially in London. Since I'm such a cool person, here's a list of ways to keep your "I'm cool" image, or at least salvage what you can when faced with very non-cool situations:

1. If you trip on the stairs, or sidewalk, just start running. Hopefully you can turn the corner and then slow down, but if not just keep going.


2. If you're lost and realize your headed the wrong way, don't just stop and make an immediate 180. You have two options: (a) Feign a phone call, stop walking and create a one-way conversation like this: "Oh hey....oh you're at THAT pub...yea, sounds good....no I'm close by, I just passed it, I'll meet you there..." NOTE: make sure you switch your ringer to silent. Don't want it ringing when your already "on a call." (b) Find some steps near by, or a bench if possible. Look confidence, as in yes, I was striding along the street to purposefully stop right at this spot. Just sit there until all familiar fellow pedestrians have left and leave the direction you came.


3. When eating alone, check your watch or your phone frequently. No need to actually speed up your dinner for one at McDonalds on a Saturday night, but as long as people think you have somewhere to be or people to meet up with, you'll look cool.


4. If you ever do legitimately need to run to catch a bus or train, fake a slight coughing fit so you have a legitimate excuse to catch your breath. No...you're not out of shape, you're just coming down with a slight cold.


5. When someone asks you for directions on the street, look confident and speak decidedly. They'll never see you again, so if the number 8 bus isn't the right one, you'll never know and you'll still have the satisfaction of helping someone. Plus people around you will think you're nice local.


6. When you get distracted and miss your tube stop and need to back track, walk slowly along the platform until your previous train has passed so no one sees you just walking to the other side of the platform.


7. Wearing iPod headphones at almost all times is key, especially while on public transportation. But, be sure you have easy access to the volume control: you don't want to be caught in sudden silence on the train when there's a signal failure and have "Mmmm Bop" blasting loud enough for others to hear.


8. Resist the urge to laugh at men who fall asleep and snore on the tube. If you do not, you will get a case of the giggles, which is like laughing during church or a funeral: it's not funny which is exactly why you can't stop laughing aaand everyone will look at you as a curiously odd person.