Have I mentioned I live in a bit of a rich area? Ok. It's a very rich area. With lots of Ex-pats since there's an American school nearby.
Anyway. I wish I was kidding when I say I got a Pet Spa pamphlet from Harrods in the mail the other week. The proof is below. If I ever hear of anyone I know actually using this place, I will personally write them a letter listing the 99,463,235 more useful and beneficial ways that money could have been spent.
In case you can't read it well, here are some of the highlights with my commentary in blue:
Anyway. I wish I was kidding when I say I got a Pet Spa pamphlet from Harrods in the mail the other week. The proof is below. If I ever hear of anyone I know actually using this place, I will personally write them a letter listing the 99,463,235 more useful and beneficial ways that money could have been spent.
In case you can't read it well, here are some of the highlights with my commentary in blue:
- "...this unique 3,000-square-foot pet-pampering haven offers the world's most exclusive selection of bespoke pet-grooming services and indulgent spa treatments..." Seriously? 3,000 sq feet? That's worth like $40 million in London (note - yes, I completely made that amount up)
- "...specially designed to to provide a calm, relaxing and safe retreat in which pets can be groomed, preened and indulged and revitalised." I'm pretty sure that a dog can relax just fine on a carpet at home.
- "Treatments offered include: physiotherapy, luxury canine massage, animal communication & reiki healing, behavioural support consultation, one-to-one puppy or kitten consultation" How much do you think those "animal communication & reiki healing" consultants get paid? 'Cause I'm pretty sure if I were them, I'd tell the pet - 'Don't tell your owner, but let's both just have a nap. Wink wink. Oh wait, you can't talk. I'm taking a nap now.' Then I'd laugh my way to the bank.
- Spa treatments include "blueberry & vanilla facial, thalassotherapy mud bath, John Paul pet full body groom" Blueberry & vanilla facial? I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be able to tell that from a 'stinky sock' facial. And knowing my old dog, she'd prefer the stinky socks. Also, a mud bath. You could get that for free going to a park in the rain.
- A nutrition and fitness suite including "personal fitness training session, the old age pensioner Club" I wonder if the pensioner club plays bingo. Oh wait, it's poker. That's where that ghetto portrait of dogs playing poker and smoking comes from. The Harrod's Pet Spa Pensioners Club.
The Harrod's Pet Spa Pensioners Club.
Pamphlet Front
Pamphlet Inside
Pamphlet Back
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