Customer Service

When I call a phone help center

1. I pressed one to speak in English


2. I pressed 4 because I’m a current customer


3. I entered by 10 –digit account number


4. I entered the last 4 digits of my social security number


5. I pressed 7 because this was a billing issue


6. Entered the zip code on my billing address


7. Entered my 10 digit phone number


8. I pressed 0 about 15 times to try to skip the menu options and just talk to someone to no avail


9. I pressed 3 because the bill was overcharged


10. I pressed 2 because I had already paid the bill when I found the mistake


11. I pressed 1 because I wanted a refund of my overcharged bill


12. Waited on hold with a 60 second clip of elevator music looping for 8 minutes, only to be interrupted every 30 seconds with “Thank you for calling. We appreciate your patience. All of our customer service representatives are busy at the moment, please remain on the line and our first available representative will be with you shortly.”
    
13. Have the following conversation:

Brijesh: “Hi my name is Brijesh. Can I have your first and last name please?”
Me: “Shannon Marquardson”
Brijesh: “Thanks Ms Marquardson, are you a current customer with us?”
Me: “Yes.”
Brijesh: “Thanks Ms Marquardson, what can I help you with today?”
Me: “You overcharged me on my bill and I want a refund.”
Brijesh: “Ok Ms Marquardson. Let me pull up your details. Can you give me your 10 digit account number?”
Me: “Sure, it’s XXXXX-XXXXX”
Brijesh: “Thanks Ms Marquardson. Now please give me the last 4-digits of your social security number?”
Me: “Ok, it’s XXXX”
Brijesh: “Thanks Ms Marquardson. Now please give me your current mailing address.”
Me: “It’s XXXX”
Brijesh: “Thanks Ms Marquardson. And what is your current billing address including the zip code?”
Me: “It’s XXX”
Brijesh: “Thanks Ms Marquardson. And what’s your contact phone number on file?”
Me: “It’s XXXX”
Brijesh: “Thanks Ms Marquardson. Just a few more security questions. What’s your mother’s maiden name?”
Me: “It’s XXXX”
Brijesh: “Thanks Ms Marquardson. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream, your childhood best friend’s middle name, the name of your first pet and the model of your first car?”
Me: “[Sigh] it’s XXXX, XXXX, XXXX and XXXX. That’s right Brijesh, my favorite ice cream flavor is not chocolate.”
Brijesh: “Thanks Ms Marquardson. Now please tell me, the amount of your last bill, the payment date of your last bill?”
Me: “It was XXX dollars, paid on XX.”
Brijesh: “Thanks Ms Marquardson. Let me finish pulling up your account details....[pause for 2 mintues]...Ms Marquardson, I'm sorry to say but it looks like our system is down so I can't adjust your bill. You'll have to call us back later. Thank you for calling."

*Note: OK, so this wasn't an actual conversation/situation. Just a compilation of many I've had.