Anyway, it got me thinking and here's my latest list of random life insights (written by me):
- When I hear my ringtone in a car of people, I think “ah, someone else has my ringtone! They have good taste.” Then I realize it’s my phone.
- When I have a bag of candy and someone asks for some, when I say “Sure, take as much as you’d like” I really mean "If you take more than three pieces, or a red one…I will be bitter.”
- Whenever I walk confidently across the street, there’s always a stealthy cab that zips around the corner that promptly honks at me. Whenever I hesitate, the only thing coming around the corner is a street sweeper, but since I hesitated I feel the need to wait, as grannys in walkers pass me by and walk across.
- I can’t understand people who put the toilet roll paper on backwards. It goes over the top people….com’on!
- I’m always too impatient to use the hand blow dryer, so I wipe my wet hands on my jeans. Unfortunately that makes me look like an idiot with wet hand prints on my thighs. Apparently I haven’t learned my lesson that 30 seconds is worth it.
- Why was the soap in school growing up the dry, gritty pink stuff. Was is really that much cheaper than liquid soap? It was probably just pink-dyed sand that scraped off your skin, and the germs with it. Anyone else have that stuff at school growing up?
- Fact: bacon in the UK is always served raw. Seriously...raw. It makes me shudder to think of biting into a BLT sandwich and finding pure, raw gristle instead of crispy goodness.
- I will never shake your hand if I see you picking at your feet in public. Yes, there are those who whip off their shoes at the earliest opportunity and play with/pick at their feet. [shudder]
- Bugs fly in through an open window with so little effort yet it takes them hours of buzzing on the window to find the opening again.
- Ipod headphones magically are in knots every time I get them out as if I had spent hours tangling them up when I took them off 20 seconds ago.
- Scissors in packaging you need scissors to open. Seriously.
- Internet phone help lines that tell you to go on their website.
- Signs for blind people without braille on them. I've seen them.
- When I grab a paper towel from the dispenser and ten automatically fall out, I put the extra ones the wet counter. Look at me trying to stop wasting and help the environment, as if someone will use wet towels from the counter...
"#13 - signs for blind people." yeah, my old garage elevator had audible parking level announcements ... for blind drivers?
ReplyDelete(2) Punching them is more effective in preventing them from taking ur m&m's than thinking mean thoughts.
ReplyDelete(4) Once roomed with my best college friend, who requested that I put toilet paper on the right way.
(5) I always wondered if people thought I peed in my pants by walking out with wet handprints on my jeans.
(14) You should keep the extra ones so next time you won't have to leave the bathroom with wet handprints on your jeans.
I love this! Especially 4 and 5. You're hilarious! Miss hanging out with you!
ReplyDelete6. That soap was nasty- but fun. We used to make fake candy by adding a little water to a (child's) handful of it, shape it into a Hershey's kiss, and let it dry for a few minutes. Then we tried to get other kids that we didn't like to eat it. One of my more entrepenurial friends would try to sell them, but I just didn't feel right- I guess I just I have higher moral standards than that.
ReplyDelete13. I have seen ATM drive thru signs with braille. Frightening. Also, According to David Sedaris, it is legal for blind people to go hunting in Texas and in Michigan. In TX they are required to be accompanied by a seeing person. In Michigan they are not.
15. Now that I started reading your blog I can't stop. I work for an hour, and then reward myself with an entry. Keep up the good work- and eat a mint digestive for me, will you? I can only find the caramel ones here. :)